Can you learn something from a reality show?

Are you a reality show junkie?

Probably so. I know I've gotten hooked on a couple of shows myself.

Reality shows are great tools for someone in a communications class however and that is what makes this week's blog entry so unique.

For the record, I am a huge fan of the restaurant/cooking reality shows and always have been since their inception. What better place to actually observe communication and the ability to work in a small group setting than watching eight couples try to win a chance at a new restaurant?

And so what I have found myself doing is watching NBC's The Chopping Block.

After getting caught up on the first two episodes earlier in the week, I watched episode three on Wednesday night and wrote down some very interesting notes; Michael and Panya need to get their communication skills in order before they get married.

Let me walk you through what I saw as some key components as to why the Red Team has lost two challenges in a row.

To begin with, the challenge for these eight couples was to work as a team in a small group setting.

Four couples per restaurant; eight people. Somebody was going to have to be the team leader sooner or later. So with that being said, I wasn't surprised that Michael and Panya from the red team were asked to pack their things and go home.
VIDEO: See why Michael and Panya were sent packing


If you watch the video clip, you get a very good sense as to why this couple was actually the weakest link of the bunch. There were three distinct issues that presented the Red team from succeeding in not just this episode but in the last episode. Those three issues were all centered around Panya's attitude and Michael's inability to control not just his team in the second episode but the fact that he would not assert his authority on his fiancée and correct her when needed.

Don't confuse being rude with being forceful when it comes to relationships. Strong communication skills are needed for both. Yet what I saw from Michael was a person who was not able to lead a team and he definitely had a hard time leading his significant other when it counted most; maintaining decorum.

Michael's and Panya's fate on this reality show is actually something that we can all say we have experienced. In the COM 102 class that I am taking right now, we are learning how to use various strategies and techniques that are designed for effective use in small work groups. While the strategies are numerous, some of the basic principles that you learn as a child come into play. Amongst those life lessons are listening, being respectful and learning to be a team player.

Listening and being respectful should go hand in hand and while Payna demanded respect from her former team members, she definitely did not give it back in return. When other team members are saying you are the problem, guess what? You probably are the problem. Payna was the problem on the Red team and her attitude showed up twice in back to back episodes. She also did not know how to be a team player when it counted most. In a small group setting, your personal ego has to be set aside so that the common goal can be reached. She didn't do that.

For Michael, he was ineffective as a leader.

In this episode, when they were being critiqued, he allowed Payna to rant about what were the problems between her and another team member. She constantly talked about what 'her' problems were; not what the solution to the problems could be.

Michael sat there and didn't say a word.

He didn't defend Payna when it was necessary nor did he turn to her and say, "you are the problem here; not them". It was as if he was scared to stand up to her and put his foot down.

Ironically that is his personality it seems. He is very passive and being in that state of mind does not work in business nor in a relationship.

What should have happened was that Michael should have stood up and said something, anything, during the critique session. The only time he said something was to tell Payna to let it go and she continued to run her mouth.

That's not good. It's a sign of disrespect and it is something that he needs to hurry up and fix or else his relationship is going to go down the crapper quick.

Yet as someone who is actually getting his degree in Communications, the episode proved to be a great course lesson.

Clearly dysfunctional is something you do not need in a restaurant.

This episode also shows why it is important to possess good communication skills and strong leadership qualities that can get a team past their petty differences.

The real reason why Panya and Michael were sent home?

They were not team players.

Communicating effectively more than just college homework

Well it's week two of COM 102 at UPX Online for me and this class is definitely showing that things are going to get a little more difficult as school continues. The writing assignments are going to get longer and more in depth. The discussion questions have actually doubled from two to four and the instructor has piled on some other stuff as well.

If there is one abstract that I have found myself knowing, it is that communication is more than the sum of what I thought I knew.

Yeah it sounds kind of goofy but what is so profound is the fact that this class is actually helping me in my personal and professional life as well; not just in the realm of academia.

I've considered myself to be a pretty good writer. A friend of mine says that I can write my butt off when I really put my mind to it.

Maybe so but now what I am learning is that the written word is only as good as the oral dexterity that I must exhibit. Of course some would tell you that I do a pretty good job of being vocal on subject matter too but I have never really been able to keep the two in synchronous harmony until now. With this class, I am putting the written and verbal traits that I possess to good use and they are actually being honed to a sharpness that I never knew existed.

This week I am finding myself having to really get in step with classroom participation. Last week's effort was so-so and that was only because I had to find a rhythm for this class. Those four discussion questions definitely can be a bothersome but answering other classmate's posts was even more troubling at times.

Putting together the learning team was a breeze though and already we are ahead of the game. On an individual basis, the first week's paper was turned in two days earlier than expected and that may be the par for the course.

This course may seem like I should be waltzing through it but as I stated in my summary for last week, my professional skills sometimes get in the way of the academia skills that are coming forth.

In any case this class is going to be a challenge that is welcome.

It will definitely be something that I can use for the rest of my life.

But the rest of that story will have to written at a later date.

In the meantime, this current chapter isn't finished just yet.

So stay tuned…

The hardest thing to do is to actually communicate

This week began my COM 102 class and it is all about communication for the next five weeks.

Did you know that the hardest thing to do is to actually communicate? Did you know that studying communication isn't now cakewalk?

Well it's not and for the first week I am actually struggling with a couple of DQs (discussion questions). Now I'm not saying I'm not up to the task but this is not going to be a cakewalk.

So what is communication anyways you might ask?

Good question and here is a more up to date answer for you.

Communication is how we, as humans, correspond to each other. There are basically two types of communication: verbal and non-verbal.

Verbal communication is exactly what it sounds like. When you pick up the cell phone and call your mom, that's a verbal communication. When you are in a board meeting, a classroom or even at a coffee shop conversing, that's a verbal communication. Pretty much anything that has you using your voice, that's verbal.

Non-verbal communication can consist of anything from a text message to an email on where your club meeting will be. Non-verbal communication has pretty much taken over as far as how we communicate and/or interact with each other. As our society gets more and acclimated to using devices such as smart phones, pdas and mini notebooks. Even this blog is considered a non-verbal way of communications.

This class basically is breaking down communication and defining what language is. What the class is also doing is helping myself formulate a strategy on how to become a better communicator.

I'm sure many are saying, "You are a nationally known columnist. What can you learn?"

The answer is plenty.

Communication isn't just about having an A and B conversation; it is about also learning how to effectively negotiate when you are up for a raise; how negotiate an effective resolution to a squabble; how to successfully put together a press release that everyone can understand.

This should be an interesting five weeks and I'm looking forward to sharing the experiences with you.

But until then, stay tuned……

Believe it or not but finishing up SOC 110 hasn't been easy

I'm probably going to say this a lot on this blog so maybe I need to make a macro key in Microsoft Word or something but anyway, finishing up my current class hasn't been as easy as I thought.

These classes are going to get tougher and these work skill classes aren't the easiest things either. However they are definitely life skills that I am glad I've taking right now. As a matter of fact this class and probably the next two or three are classes every employer should be giving their employees as orientation.

I'm not hyping up what's going on at UofP Online but let me say that if you don't think you need to be able to be a mediator and/or a negotiator at work, you have another thing coming. The class that I am finishing up is all about those types of techniques and I'm going to tell you, the "it" works in real life.

Now I'm not saying girls take this course, pick a fight with your man and see if you can win the fight because that's not what this is about. What it is about is being able to steer a small group clear of controversy and put them on the same track if need be. It's about being able to have creative thinkers instead of 'sheep' when getting projects done.

As good as this experience has been, let me say that this hasn't been an easy course over the past five weeks. One weekend I decided to just kind of take off and it hurt my grade average tremendously. Yeah I was actually mentally drained. I didn't pace myself properly. Right now I am pretty sure that I have dropped about .60 on the GPA meter. That's a "B" folks in case you don't know.

From an "A+" to a "B" is a big drop but you know what, that's my fault and mine alone. I allowed myself to be distracted with junk and I didn't focus when I was supposed to.

That may happen from time to time. Heck I hope it doesn't happen when I get ready to take my math classes. I hate math and math hates me. But I know I'm going to have to bone up on it and be prepared around Thanksgiving time.

That's why it's important for me to finish up with this class (and all my other classes in the future) on a strong note. Its why I need to make sure that I don't take a whole weekend off like I did back in wee three of this course. That just wasn't good.

So this weekend what I plan on doing is actually finishing up all of the individual assignments by today and just have the team assignment to do on Sunday. Nothing major but I don't want to spend my Sunday writing a 1,050 job proposal for class either.

So learning how to finish strong is a technique that I just have to add to the repertoire. Good enough.

My next course is COM/105, Communication Skills for Career Growth. I'll blog about that experience next week.

Until then, stay tuned…..

Getting a feel for this online thing isn't easy

I've got to say that I have no idea why I thought going to school online was going to be easier than doing the brick and mortar route.

This is actually tougher than it seems but at the same time it forces you to learn a lot faster too.

It also forces you to grow the heck up real quick as a student.

Today as I blog this entry, I'm in week five of my SOC 110 class and I have three assignments that will be do. What that means is that I will be taking today off for a little bit and then I am going to finish those two individual assignments and get with the rest of my team members and finish off our team assignment as well.

Let me also say that I have seen some online classmates fall by the waist side vey quickly. This online stuff ain't no joke peeps; it's serious business and you have to take it as such.

The hardest thing I've had to get accustomed to so far is the fact that I need to prioritize my time better than I ever had. It's gotten so bad that I actually upgraded my cell phone to a Blackberry just so that I can stay in contact with things. I actually thought about the iPhone but I just couldn't see myself paying all that money for a iPod that answers my calls from my parents!!

Seriously though if it weren't for that darn phone and the calendar feature that is built into my computer's OS, a lot of things would be lost.

So to help me get by in my classes, I actually came up with some strategies that help me get through much of this. Here are some of those strategies:

- Always make sure that reading assignments are read at home. This is actually my best time to read such material.
- Stay very active in the classroom forum. It's not about being the teacher's pet in so much as it is about getting the job done.
- Be thorough in researching for papers. I try to not leave anything to chance.
- Remember that I am the only one accountable for my actions. Can't blame anyone else for late homework but myself.

They don't seem like much but for right now, they are the backbone of how I am making it through these courses.

I'll share my week five experiences and other things next time.

Stay tuned…

Getting to understand the team collaboration mess

It is probably one of the most under utilized strategies for many of us but in the nine weeks or so of myself being back in school, I have to say that I have learned more about the team collaboration concept than I probably would have ever thought possible.

At the UofP, working in teams is a part of the curriculum and if you have never really been a part of the concept, it is pretty challenging. Ironically we have all been exposed to the concept in some fashion. If you are an athlete or play sports, you're exposed to the concept. At your job, you're exposed to it even though they may call it different names.

But in the academia world, the concept is something that is challenging for online students simply because they are doing this concept in a virtual setting.

The class that I am just now finishing up,
SOC/110- TEAMWORK, COLLABORATION, AND CONFLICT RESOLUTION, is a continuation of what the school calls life long study skills. The course "provides an applied approach to teambuilding, collaboration, and conflict resolution. Students will understand and apply these concepts within academic and professional settings. Students will develop structures, processes, and strategies to create and maintain effective teams. Gender, cultural, and individual considerations in team dynamics will also be explored."

In other words you learn how to become an effective team leader, supervisor or project manager or at least equip yourself with better communication skills.

I've had many friends and family members ask me what would my degree entail or allow me to do.

Well according to the program description, "The Bachelor of Science in Communication (BS/COM) degree program is designed to develop knowledge and skills for effective communication in a variety of public and private work environments. The program was created specifically to build upon personal and professional communication experiences. The BS/COM degree enhances the communication skills necessary for the development of professional competence and values; critical thinking and problem solving; information utilization; and collaboration. The curriculum focuses on the development of core communication competencies. It emphasizes theory and application in the domains of interpersonal, small group, organizational, and mass communication. Specific areas of focus include business communication, diversity, intercultural communication, conflict resolution, legal and ethical issues, media and culture, and future trends in communication technology."

For me I think it gives me the license to be a bigger blabber mouth than usual!!

But on the serious end of things, the course I am currently in is about being able to effective communicate with team members on an individual level and also through a virtual world.

The project that is due by 12 p.m. M.S.T. tomorrow is a team collaborative paper that is to be no longer than 1,750 words complete with APA style references. Each team member in my team is assigned to work on a particular part of the paper and also help collaborate with the other. Now in a physical classroom setting, that wouldn't be a problem but as an online student, this is indeed a challenge.

Right now as I finish this blog entry, we [my virtual classmates] are working on the finishing touches of the paper.

I'll keep you posted on how that turned out.

Stay tuned…

A new beginning....college, online no doubt, at 42 years old

Being a college student isn't easy no matter what your age is but at the age of 42, working and trying to find a new career, the challenge can be overwhelming to say the least.

When I decided to go back to school in December of 2008, the actual decision was made a full month or so prior to that. I spent part of my birthday soul searching what I really wanted now. Did I still want a family? Did I still want to live here in San Antonio? Was I really getting tired of the same old routine?

One of the most important questions I asked myself was if I wanted a family, could my current career path, without a college degree, sustain such an important part of my life? I had to make the decision that I knew should have been done maybe years ago; I had to go back to school.

That was the easy part. The hard part was how in the hell was I going to pay for it and where was I going to attend.

I've always been one who was very unconventional and I needed to find an institution that allowed me the liberties of going to work and do what I do while at the same time giving me the best quality education available. There were several online colleges out there but none of them fit the criteria like what I found at the University Phoenix.

Yeah I know, they have commercials everywhere and you're right. And you're probably saying that I should have picked a different school and not one that had a national following. But my decision wasn't based on the commercials being ran; it based on what the school had to offer. It was the same criteria that you would use in picking a brick and mortar school.

And so I talked it over with myself, some of my closest friends, my parents and some other family members and the decision was easily made; this was the best choice I could come up with.

Paying for college, whether it be a physical one or an online institution, was always going to have to come from me and no one else. I had paid off college a couple of college loans before and so I was ready to go. Or at least I thought I was. I found out that I still owed the government $28 before I could get the financial aid I needed. Okay so $28 was holding me up. Fine. The one annoyance I had so far!

But with that all said and done, after filling out the FARFSA and applying for student loans, the day of my first class came on December 16, 2008.

Every five weeks, I would be taking a new class and inching closer to my goal of having my degree.

The first class has come and gone and I am already into the last week of the second class. I have my third class coming in two weeks.

It's a daunting task but I can tell you right now, I am glad that even at this age, I have made a right decision.

Stay tuned…